Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: Vampire only sucks blood at night.
• What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.
• Lawyer: “Your Honor, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence.” Judge: “And what is the nature of the new evidence?”
Lawyer: “I have discovered that my client still has money.”
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers
Richard Pryor