- Q: What’ the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
- Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.
- I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired license plates. The judge listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation.
Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you – we’re just fining you.”
War is the statesman’s game, the priest’s delight, the lawyer’s jest, the hired assassin’s trade.
Percy Bysshe Shelley