• Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
• Q. What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
• Have you heard they’re using lawyers instead of rats in laboratories these days? There are three reasons for this:
1. Lawyers reproduce faster.
2. The scientists don’t get attached to the lawyers.
3. A lawyer will do things a rat wouldn’t even consider.
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.
-Jeremy Bentham