• Q: What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: Accountants know they’re boring.
• Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
• A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence. They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows: “Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow.”
Lawyers occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
– Winston Churchill
