- Q. What’s the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
- Q. What’s the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
- The attorney tells the accused,
“I have some good news and some bad news.”
“What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.
“The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”
“What’s the good news?”
“Your cholesterol is 130.”
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.