• Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years.”
Herman: “Hmm. I killed a man, and I’m here for 3 days.”
George: “WHAT??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???”
Herman: “Yeah, it was a lawyer.”
• You seem to be in some distress,’ said the kindly judge to the witness.
Is anything the matter?' Well, your Honour,' said the witness,I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.’
“The English laws punish vice; the Chinese laws do more, they reward virtue.”