Lawyers Wit

Lawyers’ wit

• When asked, “What is a contingent fee?” a lawyer answered, “A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don’t win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing.”

• An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.


“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”
If you think about it, every single species is endangered. Homo sapiens at the front of the line, mosquitoes and lawyers at the back.

-Henry Rollins

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