Lawyers Wit

Lawyers’ Wit

• Q: Could you please explain the recent historic tobacco settlement?
A: Sure! Basically, the tobacco industry has admitted that it is killing people by the millions, and has agreed that from now on it will do this under the strict supervision of the federal government.

• Q: What’s the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer? 
A: One’s a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
• A lawyer e-mailed a client: “Dear Anil: Thought I saw you on the street the other day Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn’t you, so I went back. One tenth of an hour: `1500.”

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.

Arthur Schopenhauer

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