“Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate.”
—William Arthur Ward
Sometimes a word of praise is only the encouragement that is needed. Each one is fighting a battle of some sort. We cannot fight their battle for them, but we can help them along their tough path by some encouraging words. Our words are important. They have the potential to carry life within them. I realised what incredible value there is in encouraging people. It’s not just flattery, it’s noticing specific things. Even just the act of noticing is a compliment! That you care enough to notice, can brighten someone else’s day, and you very rarely know the enormity of struggles people face in their private lives.
Why is it that some people just can’t give a compliment?
It’s a natural human need isn’t it? We all yearn for a thank you, you’ve done well or that was awesome. Whatever the compliment when received it just feels great, and when given by certain people it even feels better. We have a desire to be thought highly of. When complimented, we’re likely to get that warm fuzzy feeling.
So why is it easy for some to give compliments and challenging for others?
Psychologists say that when people are unable to give them out it’s usually for the following reasons: • insecurity, you don’t want to give someone an ‘edge’ over you • jealousy/envy, makes you unable to pay out a compliment or depression, when you just can’t see the good things; or it could be self-absorption, once again, not being able to recognize the positive in others.
When you feel appreciated by a person you want to do more for that person. Show your gratitude and watch as the number of things you have to be grateful for grows. Ironically giving compliments develops our confidence; we feel good as we help other people to feel good. If you want to develop your self-esteem the fastest way to do it is to help improve someone else’s.
Even as an experiment, this is surely worth a try, because of the ample benefits, mainly –
• It benefits others. Compli-ments encourage others Through kind words, we remind people of their value and their talents. They provide confidence and joy and hope.
• It benefits me. When we share happiness, we receive it.
• It benefits my environment. The people around us create the environments in which we live, work, and play. Spreading joy among them by fostering a culture of encouragement challenges others to do the same.
There are lots of good things we can focus on. Instead of “catching people being bad,” catch them being good. Make your words a fountain of life. Be a positive person. Encourage one another.
Even if we know that everyone needs encouragement, not everyone has the will to give it away. Our selfish human nature makes us love to judge others or put them down. In a world where challenges abound, it’s easy for us to feel discouraged. The thought of giving up is always present in our minds just because there is no one we can turn to for words of encouragement. Everyone is too busy with his own affairs. This makes us forget our moral obligation to each other being a part of a family or society.
But when we are in the midst of a trial and someone tells us “Don’t lose hope, I believe you can do it,” it’s amazing how those words can keep us alive and energized. Encouraging words can do wonders to make us work harder instead of thinking about surrender. We can never underestimate the power of positive words to change our outlooks in life.
In every law office, there are some junior lawyers and new comers stepping into the legal profession who need the encouragement of their seniors. They are willing to learn, but are afraid of being rebuked or ridiculed. Some kind words of encouragement will go a long way in fostering their growth and eventually, it is a win-win situation for all, including the law firm as such. Words of encouragement can help to make people feel good about themselves. This will build their confidence – one of the most important things they need to face the harsh realities of life.
So ask yourself this simple question – Do you bring sunshine or gloom when you enter the room?
These beautiful words hold true in every situation of life and every profession.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou